Watch Me.

Posted by Ian January 9th, 2008 in Bleeding Edge, Mixed Bag

ianbell.jpgApparently I’m one of the “People to Watch” on the Vancouver tech scene for 2008. As if it’s not easy enough to look into my townhouse from the street already, you people have to watch me working as well?

Kidding aside, it’s great to be listed among such folks as the RainCity crew, Danny Robinson, and Mozilla’s David Ascher. Missing from the list are folks like David Gratton, Boris Wertz, and Dick Hardt. Their enterprises are I think poised for big things this year, and success on their part will do much to bolster the tech scene in Vancouver in general.

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Paris Hilton owns an iPhone

Posted by Ian July 11th, 2007 in Bleeding Edge, Mixed Bag

Paris Hilton iPhoneQuite sadly, all of my friends are getting iPhones, it seems, and the iPhone Resistance soldiers are dropping like flies. There are rumors that even hardened technologists like Jeff Pulver, who’s made loud protestations to contradict the trend have been lured over to the dark side. I’m shattered.

But if there ever was cause for you to question your sanity for avoiding the first-generation iPhuss, then let this be an affirmation: buy an iPhone and you’ll be exactly as cool as Paris “Born Again” Hilton.

Here she is spotted by the paparazzi in her most conspicuous finery attending the “Sicko” premiere wearing sensitive green jungle attire and sporting the uber-trendy device, of course discussing things of great import with people of great influence. Either that, or she’s giving jailhouse tips to Lindsay Lohan.

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Watch Out For Pink Gun-Wielding Lesbian Rape Gangs

Posted by Ian July 11th, 2007 in Mixed Bag

PInk GunLesbians: It’s always about them, isn’t it? They take and they take and they take. It’s just not enough that they want to get married, work alongside us, raise their children, invade the fantasies of otherwise normal tobacco-chewing NASCAR-watching red-blooded American males, and (gasp!) live normal everyday lives.

Now, thanks to a searing special investigation by the crack journalistic team of Bill O’Reilly and Faux News we know that they also want to pistol whip you with their pink 9mm GLOCs and rape innocent god-fearing heterosexuals. Clearly the movement is inspired by lezbo icon Rosie O’Donnell, who confirmed Dick Cheney’s suspicions that she’s a terrorist by threatening to break into Donald Trump’s apartment and rub her belly all over him.

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Mine’s Bigger: Babies and Urban Combat

Posted by Ian June 19th, 2007 in Mixed Bag

Move over, Range Rover. The battle for the streets has gone from trucks to toddlers as the ultimate urban status symbol for upscale parents, in case you hadn’t heard, is now the family pram. If your neighbors don’t seem intimidated by that H2 glistening on your driveway, the next step for domination at the local Starbucks is available at your local baby supply store, and unlike with SUVs, the boundaries for size are as endless as the opportunities for needless indulgence. Sure, this might make Saturday window shopping in the city unbearable for the rest of us, but what better way could there be to show the world your paternal prowess and establish your tyke’s ascendancy than a monster baby buggy? Read More

Advice on Sex for Ladies with Cold Vaginas

Posted by Ian May 7th, 2007 in Mixed Bag

I really have no idea why I think this is so funny, but I do. The Ms.Alexis Tyler Show teaches us all about sexual politics and I, for one, am grateful.


My favourite quote: “…but I got a Masters Degree in gettin’ played by men.”

-Ian.

Hello World.

Posted by Ian April 25th, 2007 in Mixed Bag

DogCowI’m back. Looking forward to sharing ideas and communicating my deepest, innermost thoughts in this roadside confessional.

I think this blogging thing may be taking off.

More on why I’m online here.

Thanks to Riki Tiki Tavi for her invaluable help getting this project off the ground..

-Ian.

@F: [GENERAL] No Nicknames for The Sniper…

Posted by Ian October 18th, 2002 in Mixed Bag

Perhaps the greatest tragedy of the whole sniper-in-Washington killing
spree (aside from all of those messy deaths, of course) is the fact
that, since there are so few clues left by the sniper, it’s been
difficult for the media in the US to develop and market a suitable
Nickname for it.

Ironically, since it’s a sniper we’re talking about, the very mystique,
secrecy, and mystery is exactly what we should expect until he/she/they
eventually become bored and/or screw up.

In the interim, how are we to carry on without a suitable chroma-key in
adorning our television sets when any breaking news about white panel
vans emerges? How will Ted Turner sell Pepsi Ads during the nation’s
hour of need if he can’t segue the breaking story thing with an
appropriately recognizable moniker?

-Ian.

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http://story.news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=story&ncid=578&e=7&cid=578&u=/nm/
20021018/ts_nm/crime_shootings_moniker_dc

Washington Sniper Evades Nickname with Few Clues
1 hour, 8 minutes ago

By Laura MacInnis

WASHINGTON (Reuters) - A sniper has left few clues behind in his
two-week-long shooting spree in and around the U.S. capital, foiling
efforts to coin a suitable moniker for the killer.

Time Magazine dubbed the gunman “The Beltway Sniper,” named for the
highway encircling the Washington suburbs where the gunman has shot 11
people, killing 9, seemingly at random. Newsweek called him “The Tarot
Card Killer,” referring to a Tarot “Death” card found near one of the
crime scenes.

Journalism experts said most media outlets have avoided labeling the
killer because too little was known about him or his intentions.

“People are too afraid right now to hand out nicknames,” said Columbia
University professor Andie Tucker.

“There is next to nothing known about this killer, and what we do know
about him is generic. Nobody wants to give him a name which later turns
out to be embarrassing or accusatory or flat out wrong.”

High-profile criminals have a long history of attracting nicknames.
“Jack the Ripper” gained notoriety in London in the 1880s and the
“Blood Countess” of 16th-century Hungary were said to have partly
inspired Bram Stoker to write “Dracula.”

In the 1920’s, new U.S. tabloid newspapers used nicknames like Baby
Face Nelson and Pretty Boy Floyd, many of which romanticized crime.

The New York media used the shorthand “Son of Sam” for serial killer
David Berkowitz, who killed six people in 1976 and 1977 and called
himself “Sam’s Creation” in notes to newspapers and police.

Other serial killers are now best-known by monikers like the Unabomber
(Ted Kaczynski), Boston Stranger (Albert De Salvo) and Scarborough
Rapist (Paul Bernardo).

NAMELESS KILLER

Major U.S. newspapers like The New York Times and The Washington Post
have referred to the Washington assailant as “the sniper.” Europe’s
press has also shied from labels.

Spanish newspapers depict the shooter as “the mysterious sniper.” The
Greek press describe him as “the Washington sharp shooter” and in
Germany, Der Tagesspiegel refers to the gunman as simply “serial
killer.”

Since Oct. 2, the gunman has killed nine people and wounded two, each
time with a single bullet fired in busy, public places. Despite witness
reports of get-away vehicles and extensive highway searches, no arrests
have been made and police have not released a composite sketch of a
suspect.

Police Capt. Nancy Demme, of Montgomery County in Maryland, where the
first five murders took place, said on Wednesday the assailant could be
changing weapons as well as cars with every crime, adding police had
not ruled out the possibility there was more than one shooter.

“The only common denominator thus far is male,” she said in response to
conflicting witness accounts of the shooter.

With so few clues, one media expert said it was premature to
characterize the suspect — or suspects — in any way.

“I was really surprised to see the reference to the ‘Tarot Card
Killer,”‘ Columbia University journalism professor Sreenath Sreenivasan
told Reuters.

“We haven’t really established that the man who pulled the trigger is
the man who pulled all the triggers, is the man who left the card …
It’s all too early.”

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